The Bandana Monologues

The first week of bandanas.

Today I feel triumphant.  It's been a week since I launched my pursuit of shrinkage through bandana-wearing workout-fabulousness.  I worked out 6 days this week as planned!  Historically I've walked around the block maybe once in a month, patted myself on the back for giving it a whirl, then rewarded myself with a corn-dog, or something equally as detrimental. (Since retiring from football, that is).  This time around it's going to be different for a variety of reasons. Number one, I'm way more determined to change. Number two, I believe that I deserve to feel better. Number three, people are watching.  A lot of people. Nothing is more motivating than knowing that people might actually be reading about this little experiment. So, here's how the week went....

Day 1-Tuesday: I have an iphone, so I uploaded a few things to help me out. I've heard great things about the "Couch 2 5K" program, so I got that one. Knowing how far and fast I am going when walking or running is always good to set a baseline to track progress, so I uploaded the "Map My Run" app.  To keep track of what I'm shoveling into my face I downloaded "MyFitnessPal."  Thus, electronically outfitted, I embarked on my first run/walk. I turned on the mapper, and kicked on the C25K program with every intention of kicking ass and taking names. The first day of the program you walk for five minutes, then alternate running for 60 seconds and walking for 90 seconds for a duration of 20:00 minutes.  Piece of cake!  Easy peasy.  The warm-up walk was lovely, the birds were singing, the sun was shining, people were smiling...then the lovely-voiced little lady of the C25K program came on and said, "begin running."  So I ran.  After 30 seconds the sky began to darken, the winds began to moan, and I swear the earth turned into fire.  My lungs and shins were aflame. I actually looked down to make sure I hadn't lost my feet and was somehow running directly on my ankles. Sadly, I had to slow to a walk after 45 seconds.  And then the silly little C25K bitch said, "start walking."  I would've punched her if I could. But I walked on.  During the next round, I ran for about 15 seconds and hell on earth opened up again. I made the decision to walk the rest of the loop.

It is exactly one mile around my block.  I did it in 18 minutes that first day. My shins ached even after I iced them. Overall, I was proud that I had gotten started, but shamed at how far I have let my health go. As for the food I consumed...the diet just isn't on track where I would like it to be yet.

  Day 2-Wednesday: Today I walked.  My shins needed a day to pull themselves back together, so I did the loop twice!  Rare is the time I have walked two miles in the past two years, but I was feeling pretty frisky, so I booked right on past the house and went around again!  It was fantastic!  Now to combat the horrid habit I've gotten into of rewarding myself with food. This will be the hardest habit to break. I'm fully addicted to fast food.  My theory is that they sprinkle something akin to crack on top of everything.

Day 3-Thursday: I rested. It was a big work day.

Day 4-Friday: Couch 2 5K-the remix.  This time I ran for the whole 90 seconds...and then the earth opened up and bit my shins. And that awful awful lady kept telling me to run, walk, run, walk. She is surely a spawn of Satan. My eating habits still resemble those of the Hamburgler.

Day 5-Saturday: Gym day. 24 Hour Fitness is my gym of choice. Tech Center is my favorite because I like the people at the front desk, as well as the layout.  My hair is grown out a bit now, so there is little risk of having to deal with confused/angry/rude people in the locker room.  I went late in the evening to avoid having to walk the gauntlet in front of the ellipticals that are usually filled from end to end with already-skinny people.  Gym time has always gone one of two ways for me-awesome, fantastic and invigorating, or frustrating and irritating. I was really looking forward to fantastic.  Harry Potter was on the TV in front of the treadmill I chose. ACES! Easy walking while watching the wizard!
After 30 solid minutes of uphill trotting on the treadmill, I headed over to the weight machines. That's when they spotted me. It was a large pack of tweens. At this age I do not believe they have learned how to whisper, or to avoid pointing. I was easy prey since I was one of two people on the machines, and I'm not in my best shape. (Had I wanted to deal with a group of shrieking teens talking about me being a rhino, I would've gone to the mall). I tried to focus on doing my reps, keeping my heart rate up, yada yada, but they were obnoxious. There were about 10 of them running through the machines, yelling, screaming, giggling, hanging off everything.  Tech Center has changed their policy. Now, anyone 12 and older does not need adult supervision. According to the front desk guy, parents dump their kids off at the gym and use it as free baby-sitting. I wrote a note of complaint for the manager and left the gym disgusted, but still triumphant.  I completed 4 days of work-outs.

Day 6-Sunday: Another shot at running.  This time I made it all the way around in 16 minutes instead of 18, but I still couldn't do all the running the Couch 2 5K trollop was demanding. My shins feel minimally better though. I spent the afternoon drinking a ton of water and working on my menu plan for the week.

Day 7-Monday: This was supposed to be a gym day, but work was off-the-hook busy. So I gave running the loop another go. Getting smarter, I dug out the inhaler thingy the doctor gave me. I have a tendency to forget about it. After thoroughly albuterolling my lungs, I set out and was feeling good.  Ms. Mary Sunshine came on and told me to run, so I ran. She told me to walk, and I walked, and then I ran, and ran again!!  It was awesome! I only had time to do one mile, but I ran every time for the full time!! Like I said on facebook-I felt like I had won the Olympics! Amazing what getting air into your lungs can do!!

Summary-I'm already feeling better, and working out is a habit I will get used to easily.  Now to get my food in line. The trip to the grocery store was all green fresh wonderful.  Feel free to send your favorite get-fit recipes!